If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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