why didn't you poke me back
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize