I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I have post one night stand depression
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