Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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