So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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