sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
