im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
