btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
