it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
