Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
