my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize