So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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