its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
