New invention idea: vibrating tampons
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Sober January is a disaster.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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