nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
