This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Is it penis luge time yet?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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