the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
