$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
