Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
