Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
