At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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