tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
