i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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