He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
