At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
