I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
this will be a night to untag.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
