I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
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