$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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