C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
