at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
