Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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