she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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