Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
