it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
