you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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