Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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