He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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