I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
