SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I touched a dick in church today
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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