i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize