i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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