Nicole vs. Life
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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