After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
