I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Let's get the cat blown out
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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