dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Randomize
