bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
