She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
