so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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