yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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