I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
