DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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