Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
