There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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