Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
