I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize