billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
