so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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