Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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