If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He? As in you personified your dick?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
