Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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