i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
