Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I could fuck to npr.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
