I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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