No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize