matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize