We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
After tacos, we're chasing women.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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