Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
