so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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