I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
