i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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