are you so shy because you have an std?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you win again, gameday.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
