Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Welp...herpes.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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