There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
